Writing…Something.

Momentum is ~ beginning again and again, hopefully from different starting points ~

Well, the past several months have been completely consumed by simply processing the events of Hurricane Helene in a town that isn’t known for its great infrastructure but IS known for its great beer selection and the never-ending struggle between paycheck-to-paycheck workers and the wealthy customers and tourists who we need but who don’t need us.

When the gym re-opened I was booked with clients and classes, but have chosen to pause on 1-on-1 personal training to pivot my offerings to this online space, and I guess it starts with a post saying…something.

The only thing I can think of to say has nothing to do with training or music or hurricane relief, but the stress of the last 7 months- living in a country that I deeply love, that would sooner vote a convicted felon and psychopath into presidential office, over a woman. A qualified, intelligent woman.

I know that strength and mobility training are good for me, but the why’s of showing up transform over time. As a person who has asked myself many times: “Am I too sensitive for this world?”, going to the gym and fucking going for it, seems to be the most effective avenue for not letting my emotions take the driver seat of my life, and so I’ve been going. I am disassociating from all of the bullshit but am completely present with only my self. When we disassociate, we forget, and it’s beautiful and necessary sometimes. When we are present we remember- that life is a blessing, but it doesn’t always feel good and isn’t always fair, and that’s OK, and that’s something, for now.

At some point during the election, while listening to a misogynist on the news talk down towards Kamala Harris, I had a strong urge to be somewhere. Where I would feel understood and full, where misogyny is brought right into the light and stomped on: an Ani fucking DiFranco concert. I hadn’t seen her in about 20 years, but I just wanted to be standing in a room with a bunch of Ani lovers pumping our fists in the air and singing along, so I expressed my urge and tickets were purchased for my 41st birthday in October, and I got to look forward to it all winter long. It brought my soul back to life in some important ways and was everything I wanted back in September.

What I want to learn from Ani, Kamala, and my favorite podcaster and NYC mayoral candidate who left a voicemail on my phone, Corinne Fisher, is to take bigger steps, make bigger moves, and do it myself (to an extent). The way Ani created Righteous Babe Records so she would never be hindered or influenced by her record company, and would always have an avenue to highlight underrepresented voices (Hi, Toshi Reagon!)- major boss moves. So part of coming back to writing and this website has to do with that. More to come.

While I gave up the Ricochet Freeform radio show (for now), I can’t resist ending this post with a song: for not just re-member-ing but for knowing.